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Deliciously deviled damned destroyed depressed obsessed optimistic open minded orderly on top of the world omnipotent potent pessimistic potty-mouthed passive aggressive passionate pretty pain

edgeofdesiree:

Last night, I had a dream that I was pregnant and in labor again. In my delivery room, they brought this machine in that was able to project an image of the inside of my uterus in real time picture (not realistic, obviously) and I got to see that the baby inside looked just like Calliope. I got all mad and said, “I already have one that looks like that!” Oh boy….

In reality, I wouldn’t mind being blessed with two Calliopes.

averagefairy:

moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC 

sasstiel-has-arrived:

TODAY IN CLASS THIS CHICK WAS PASSING OUT A PACKET AND SHE JUST THREW MINE AT ME AND I SAID “Yo don’t fuckin throw that shit at me like I’m a stripper.” AND EVERYONE AROUND ME JUST STARED AT ME AND I REALIZED THAT ITS BC THATS THE FIRST THING IVE SAID IN CLASS SINCE I CAME TO THIS SCHOOL AND JFC